


We're Fine Together

by celticheart72



Series: SVU Love Stories [2]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2018-11-17 13:51:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11276592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celticheart72/pseuds/celticheart72
Summary: Olivia Benson is convinced she will go through life alone. But when a nightmare comes back to haunt her and her best friend's brother comes to her aid will she let herself be vulnerable enough to let real love into her heart?Note: the OMC in this story comes from my parallel Barba/OFC fic 'The Other Half of My Soul'





	1. Princess

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter of Shane and Liv’s story starting with the night William Lewis goes to Bellevue.

Liv sat on her couch in a pair of Wonder Woman knit sleep shorts and a dark grey t-shirt staring at the TV which was on some silly comedy show about a bunch of nerdy scientists. Her legs were tucked under her, she had a glass of red wine in her hand, and all she could think was that she missed having a man in the house. Brian hadn’t been gone long but they had drifted apart long before they finally broke things off and even longer before he moved out. Truthfully, they probably stayed together longer than they should have out of sheer stubbornness. If she were really honest she could admit things had been different between them after her ordeal with William Lewis. She just wasn’t the same and Brian had inadvertently treated her like she was fragile or broken at times, he never meant to, but he did.

Olivia Benson was not fragile. She had been through a lot in her life and she prided herself on being a strong independent woman. It took some time but she’d been able to overcome her assault at Sealview. William Lewis though. Even with therapy and time he still haunted her. She hated feeling weak, she hated being vulnerable. Being vulnerable meant feeling safe enough with another person to trust them unconditionally with your heart. She didn’t think she’d ever feel that and envied Lexi’s relationship with Rafael because it was very obvious they had that. As sad as it made her feel she wasn’t sure she’d ever find a man who could handle all of her baggage, Brian came the closest. Frankly she didn’t even think Elliot, had he ever been available, would have been able to handle her long term.

Sighing she looked into her wineglass which was nearly empty and then looked at the clock which said it was 10:30p.m. With Cragen officially retired she was acting squad commander and she needed to be alert in the morning so it was time to stop wallowing in self-pity and go to bed. Downing the last of her wine she carried the bottle and her glass back into the kitchen where she put the bottle back in the fridge and washed and dried her glass before putting it away. Looking around her empty apartment she swallowed the feeling of loneliness and went back to her bedroom where she slid under her sheets and rolled to her side staring out of the window into the sky before she felt herself drift off.

There was music playing loud enough that it roused Liv from her really nice dream about some tall dark handsome man who… Well she really had no idea where the dream was going because the music was playing again. Damnit. If she could only shut it off she could get back to the man in her dream. Opening her eyes slightly she noticed her phone on the nightstand was lit up and it was playing Lexi’s ringtone. A Tom Petty song, something about gates of hell. Oh hell…

She grabbed the phone and swiped her finger across the face of it a few times before the call finally connected, “Lexi? Are you okay?”

“Liv, I’m fine. I’m just calling to let you know I have Shane coming to stay with you for now,” she said, her voice tense, making Liv sit up and rub her eyes to try to make herself a little more alert. Why would she be having her brother coming over here Liv thought. And then Lexi told her Wiliam Lewis was in the prison ward at Bellevue.

Liv’s brain just came to a screeching halt, “Oh,” was all she could manage to say.

“Please let Shane in when he gets there,” Lexi pleaded with her.

“I will, thanks Lexi,” she said in a quiet voice that barely sounded like her.

Lexi’s voice carried a confidence Liv definitely did not feel in that moment, “I love you Liv, it’ll be okay.”

“Yeah,” Liv whispered into the phone before disconnecting.

Sitting up in her bed she dropped her head into her hands and tried really hard to calm her racing thoughts. He’s in the hospital surrounded by security and DOC officers, he can’t get to me Liv admonished herself. A loud knock at her door brought her head up sharply and her heart started to race. Getting up out of her bed she pulled her Glock from her nightstand drawer and she moved carefully into her living room.

“Olivia, it’s Shane Rogers,” she heard his deep voice through the door.

She went quickly to the door then and when she looked through the peephole she saw him standing back in the hallway so she could see him. His eyes were focused right where she was looking. Setting her Glock down on the bookshelf next to the door she opened it and stood back to let him in. He was dark and imposing looking, his dark hair was tucked under a black ballcap, he wore a dark grey t-shirt that showed off how broad and muscular he was, dark wash jeans, and black boots.

“Nice shorts Princess,” he quipped with a grin.

She narrowed her eyes at him and put her hands on her hips, “Princess?”

He pointed at her shorts, “Wonder Woman WAS the Princess of the Amazons.”

Glancing down at herself she realized what she was wearing and blushed, “Oh yeah, I forgot what I wore to bed.”

Shane just smirked and carried a black duffle bag over to the kitchen counter and set it down. She picked her Glock back up while he opened the duffle and rummaged through it.

“I’m going to put this away,” she walked back to her bedroom but didn’t miss him tracking her movement.

When she got there she put her gun away and sat on the side of her bed with her head in her hands again. Periodically she could hear movement in the apartment as Shane did whatever it was that he did. Her brain kept flashing back to William Lewis and what she’d been through with him. The physical scars were bad enough, she’d have those for the rest of her life despite all of the scar creams she’d tried, and anyone she was intimate with would see them. That in and of itself was enough to swear her off relationships for the rest of her life now that Brian was gone. How did she explain them to someone new without reliving the worst four days of her life? It was the mental scars that were the hardest, they made her feel weak and less of a woman.

“Olivia I’m coming in, I need to check your window and put a lock and monitor on it,” she heard Shane say behind her.

She stood from her bed and made to move out of the room but he stopped in the doorway so she couldn’t get around him and he looked down at her. Her brown eyes flicked up to his dark blue ones and she could see understanding rather than pity or annoyance in them.

“Want to talk about it?” His voice was calm and soothing, a tone she heard him use with Lexi when she was upset.

“I’m sure Lexi told you what happened,” she huffed at him, entirely positive she sounded like a petulant child.

Shane moved to the window with what looked like a tire iron in his hand as well as what looked like a small black battery pack. He’d removed his ball cap so his dark hair was messy, almost like he’d been running his hands through it. “She gave me what I’m pretty sure is a really watered down version of what happened,” he said while he worked on her window. When he was finished he turned around to face her and leaned back against the window sill with his arms crossed over his chest. His eyes just watched her but he didn’t say a word.

Liv had spent enough time with Shane to know he was honest and forthright as well as very intuitive, she considered him a friend and was comfortable with him. He’d never said much about what he did before he moved to New York but she did know he had been a Navy SEAL for a long time and spent most of his career overseas. If she was safe with anyone while William Lewis wasn’t locked down in Riker’s it was Shane Rogers. Taking a deep breath she shook her head, “I just don’t really want to talk about it right now.”

He pushed himself off of the windowsill and moved toward her, “Okay, but I’m a good listener if you change your mind.”

“I’m fine,” Liv parroted the words she practically lived by her entire life.

Shane dropped his chin to his chest and stuck his hands in his pockets while he rocked on his heels for a minute. When he’d been quiet for so long she thought he wasn’t going to say anything else she started to walk through the bedroom door to the hall. “I know what PTSD looks and feels like Princess. You’re not fine,” he’d finally raised his head to look at her.

“I’m fine,” she repeated.

Shaking his head he mumbled something about stubborn women and rolled his eyes before looking back at her, “Just stay in my sight.”

With that admonishment he followed her back out into the living room and sat down on the couch with a tablet in his lap that he focused on.

She went to the kitchen and got the bottle of wine out of the fridge, “Would you like some wine? Or a beer?”

“Not while I’m working,” he said, unintentionally ruffling her feathers.

Liv splayed her hands out on the countertop and stared at the back of his head while trying really hard not to scream that she wasn’t some fragile woman who couldn’t take care of herself, “Working?”

He turned to look behind him where she stood, “I’m here as your friend, but my primary concern is to protect you.”

“I don’t need protection,” Liv told him while she poured another glass of wine. She didn’t think she’d be going into work in the morning anyway, which was fine, the squad could manage a day without her physically in the office. They’d just keep in touch by cell phone.

“Well Lexi was worried enough to wake us both up, so let’s humor her,” he told her seriously and turned back to his tablet.

She hadn’t even considered that he may have been sleeping or could have been otherwise engaged, “I’m sorry.”

“For what Princess?” He asked in an amused tone.

“If you were, you know, occupied,” she was motioning her hands in front of her and realized he couldn’t see what she was doing so she went to sit on the other end of the couch with her feet tucked under her.

That got a low chuckle out of him, “I was occupied with my pillow. I’d much prefer to be here with you dancing around the subject you don’t want to talk about.”

Liv’s mouth dropped open and she just stared at him, “There’s nothing to talk about.”

“If you say so Olivia,” he said and moved the tablet to the coffee table, the screen had what looked to her like a set of surveillance monitors on it.

She huffed again and stood up and started pacing while he watched her until she threw her hands up in the air and started down the hall to her bedroom.

“I was serious Princess, stay in my sight,” he said and moved to follow her.

“I’m just getting my phone Shane,” she called back and grabbed it from the charger on her nightstand. When she turned around to move back down the hall she found him standing in the doorway. “Oh my god! Are you going to follow me all morning?”

He just shrugged, “That depends on you. Stay. In. My. Sight.”

All she could think was that he was worse than Elliot ever was. Brian was never that stubborn or overbearing, if anything he backed down from her too easily at times when she needed him to be the strong one. Looking down at her phone she pushed past him to walk back down the hallway. Bringing up Lexi’s contact she started typing out a text to her friend.

_Liv: Your brother is a stubborn jerk._

She didn’t expect a response since Lexi was working in the ER that night but she felt better for having expressed her feelings of annoyance. Plopping back down on the couch she pulled one of the throw pillows from the chair next to her and tucked it under her head then laid down drawing her legs up toward her. Grabbing the TV remote she turned it on and flipped the channels until she found an action movie that didn’t seem too bad. Shane sat down on the other end of the couch and stretched his long legs out in front of him, laced his fingers together over his abdomen, and leaned his head back then closed his eyes.

She narrowed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him.

“Go ahead, stick it out again and see what happens Princess,” he said, opening one eye and looking at her.

“Your eyes were closed, how do you know what I did?” Liv was sure his eyes had been closed.

Shane snickered at that, “You don’t live through what I have without honing every available sense you have and learning to read people and tiny details most don’t even notice.”

She thought about that, “Will you tell me about it?”

His eyes opened then and looked right at her, “Do me the same courtesy Olivia?”


	2. I'm Not Fine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Liv confides a little in Shane and wakes up to an unexpected surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: There is mention of physical torture and the effects of PTSD in this chapter.

Liv stared Shane down and sighed before standing up with her phone in hand and moving toward her bedroom, “I’m going to take a shower.”

He gave her a serious look and got up with her, “The bathroom in the hallway and change in there.”

“Seriously?” She asked in an agitated tone.

“I’ve told you, stay in my sight,” he said calmly. “There aren’t any windows in there and I can see the door from here. Unless of course you would prefer I take up residence on your bed and watch that bathroom door.”

“Fine! I’ll shower out here,” she snapped at him.

He just chuckled and shook his head before following her to the bedroom.

“You really are the most annoying man I’ve ever met in my life,” she told him as she went to her drawers and grabbed a bra, panties, a pair of dark grey yoga pants, and an aqua colored t-shirt then grabbed her deodorant from her bathroom.

“If you didn’t have a window in here I wouldn’t have needed to follow you,” he said crossing his arms over his chest again.

She brushed past him with her things in hand and closed herself in the hallway bathroom, as she did she could hear Shane walk by back to the living room. Swiping her finger over the screen of her phone she brought Lexi’s contact up again to send her a text message.

_Liv:_ _If he tells me to stay in his sight one more time I'm shoving a fork in his eye._

_While Liv undressed her phone pinged with a message from Lexi._

_Lexi: LOL Give him a break, he knows what he’s doing._

_Liv: He’s pissing me off._

Feeling like sharing her aggravation she chose to send Rafael a text message too.

_Liv: I am going to drop your wife’s brother off my balcony and gleefully watch him squirm in agony on the sidewalk._

Even though she was fairly certain she wouldn’t get a response but she felt better for having sent it. Liv turned the water on as hot as it would go, she was feeling dirty again, contaminated by William Lewis. When she stepped into the shower the hot water instantly turned her skin pink and she poured shower gel on the loofah she kept in there and started scrubbing her skin. She did that three times before she felt semi clean, running her fingers over the scars at her breasts, near her navel, and on the inside of her right thigh. Granted he hadn’t raped her and it had been nearly two years since her ordeal with him. Despite that there were still days where she felt like she could still feel him, smell him, smell her skin burning, taste the metal of her gun when he put it in her mouth. She’d had more of those days since Brian left.

When she was finally done scrubbing her skin she rinsed off and washed her hair then stepped out of the shower and remembered why she never showered in that bathroom. There was a full-length mirror on the back of the door and she could see every single scar she’d been left with. She had an urge to break the mirror but that would probably just bring Shane running in there and that was the last thing she wanted. Brian had been the only person aside from Lexi to see her scars, and he’d reacted badly enough. Not that he’d made her feel like she was less attractive but rather he felt guilty that he hadn’t been there to save her. Turning her back on the mirror she towel-dried her skin which was blotchy pink and red, and threw her hair up in the towel while she put on her clothes. Feeling a little less dirty she walked back out in the living room to find Shane clicking through something on his tablet.

He turned his head to look at her and furrowed his eyebrows, “Why is your skin so red?”

“I’m fine,” she said and sat on the end of the couch away from him.

Rolling his eyes he gave her a hard look, “I’m sensing those two words are a theme with you.” When she didn’t say anything he shook his head and pushed the tablet a few inches away from him. “Princess, you’re not fine. I promise I really am a good listener, if you talk to me, I’ll talk to you.”

She snorted, “Talking doesn’t help Shane, he keeps coming back to haunt me, and no matter what I do he will for the rest of my life.”

“Why do you say that?” His look and tone were calm.

“You’re just not going to let up are you?” Liv asked him, he quirked an eyebrow and shook his head. Taking a deep breath Liv debated on whether to talk to him or not. They’d known each other since he moved in with Lexi and Rafael just before Thanksgiving, and had become friends so she wasn’t sure why she was being so stubborn. Maybe it was because she was resenting being treated like she was fragile again which wasn’t his fault so she opted to talk, to an extent. “Look Shane, I don’t like being treated like I’m weak or like I can’t take care of myself.”

He’d sat forward on the couch and rested his forearms over his knees as he turned his head to look at her, “Princess…Olivia…in case you haven’t noticed I haven’t been treating you like you’re broken or fragile. I’ve been talking to you just like I always do. The only difference tonight is that I’m here not only as your friend, but I’m also here to protect you. Not because you can’t take care of yourself but because close personal protection happens to be my area of expertise.”

She watched him while he spoke and listened to the soothing timber of his voice, “With few exceptions everyone has treated me like I was fragile or broken since Lewis kidnapped me and I feel like you will as well.”

Shane looked bewildered by that, “Why in the world would I treat you like that?”

“I have nightmares about what he did to me when he had me for those four days. I have PTSD because of it,” she whispered and ran her hands over her face.

“Look at me,” he asked.

Turning her head she looked into his blue eyes.

“Do you think I’m fragile or broken?” He’d turned so he was facing her on the couch now.

“No, of course not, that’s a silly thing to ask,” Liv said wondering what he was thinking.

“Oh good, because you have as much reason to think that of me as I do of you then since I have PTSD AND I have nightmares sometimes too,” he quipped with a wry smile, but held up a hand. “I recognize the aftermath of a sexual assault is very different and has lifelong effects, but I do understand where you’re coming from.” He held his fingers up and pointed into his eyes, “Look at me Princess.”

She looked in his eyes and waited.

“Listen to what I’m saying to you and understand it. I don’t think you’re fragile, weak, or broken. I think you are a strong, caring, beautiful, and independent woman, but everyone needs help on occasion. It does not make us weak or less of what we are,” he told her firmly and surprisingly she believed him.

Nodding her head she relented, “Okay.” It was then she realized that he called her beautiful and she smiled slightly.

He chuckled, “Finally caught the compliment mixed in there, huh Princess?”

“What is with calling me Princess all of a sudden?” She asked, granted she knew why he called her that when he first walked in, but he’d been doing it all night.

“It fits, you’re a lot like Wonder Woman, but that doesn’t sound as sexy. Princess works better,” he said with a straight face.

That made her laugh and realize just how tired she was so her laugh turned to a yawn.

He noticed and pulled the throw from the back of the couch and pulled one of the throw pillows into his lap, patting the pillow he held a hand out to her. “Come on Olivia, lay down, get some sleep. I promise I won’t bite.”

Liv watched his face a few seconds before finally accepting the offer of the pillow. Curling her feet up on the couch she laid down and once she settled he tossed the throw over her and dropped his hand onto her upper arm. She could feel him typing something out on his phone before she finally drifted off.

Olivia Benson could smell burning flesh but she couldn’t find the source of it. She could feel burning keys being pressed into the skin near her belly button. And she could hear HIS voice cajoling her, taunting her, calling her sweetheart. No matter what she did she couldn’t get away from his voice, or the smell, or the pain. She started crying, something she hadn’t really done since that day in the courthouse after he was found guilty of kidnapping and assault. When she felt hands on her shoulders, shaking her slightly, she jerked away.

“Olivia, you’re okay, it’s Shane. Princess, I’ve got you, you’re okay,” she could feel strong arms come around her and pull her into a burly chest.

When she opened her eyes she found she was in Shane’s arms and it was his chest she was leaning into. She didn’t care, he was offering her comfort, and she needed it in that moment. It was a little odd because for as long as she was with Brian she’d never let him hold her when she cried, she’d always hidden herself away. For some reason she actually felt comfortable crying in Shane’s arms. That was something for her to analyze and pick apart on another day, right then she was too distraught and tired to think about it.

It took a good thirty minutes but she finally quieted down and Shane shifted her to look at her face. “You going to tell me you’re fine this time?”

Liv shook her head, “I’m not fine.”

Nodding he pulled her back into him and shifted on the couch so she could recline back and use his chest as a pillow. She noticed his laptop said it was just after 5a.m. and she was exhausted, hopefully now that she was semi calm she could get another few hours of sleep. Curling into the man next to her she closed her eyes again and drifted back off.

The next time she opened her eyes she found William Lewis crouched down in front of her.

“Hello sweetheart,” he said.


	3. Beast's Demise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> William Lewis is killed and Liv struggles to deal with her emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning this is my version of the end of Beast’s Obsession from Liv’s perspective so there is some description of the shooting and death of William Lewis in this chapter.

****

Liv froze. At first she thought she was having another nightmare but the William Lewis in front of her had the scar around his eye from where she broke his eye socket. In her nightmares that was never there. This was really William Lewis, but where was Shane?

He held the gun in his hand out to Liv's cheek and smiled, "Now you're going to be a good girl and do what I tell you aren't you sweetheart?"

She couldn't respond to say no or fight back, she was frozen. The nightmare she'd lived with for nearly two years was in front of her in the flesh.

Lewis smiled then, "Awww, what's the matter sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?" He reached out with his other hand and grasped her upper arm to pull her up with him as he stood, "I'm not going to play around this time, we're going to your bedroom, you're going to strip for me, and I'm going to fuck you until you scream."

"I'd think twice about that if I were you," she heard Shane's voice behind her and to her left. "I'm her Protection Agent and I’m authorized to use deadly force if necessary to protect her. Drop your weapon right now."

"Olivia, I didn't think you would have found yourself a new boyfriend so soon..." Lewis sneered glancing over to Shane.

"I said drop your weapon," Shane's voice had turned deadly.

Lewis' eyes moved to Liv's, "Does he know how I marked you? That I had my hands all over your body? How you begged me to take you in that beach house? How I..."

She heard a sound like a nail gun going off and she felt something spray her in the face as Lewis staggered back from her. Shane's hand pushed her down to the floor as he moved in front of her and advanced on Lewis who was struggling to move his gun to his uninjured arm.

"Final warning, drop your weapon," Shane repeated.

From her position on the floor she could see Lewis smile and point his gun, now in his left hand, to her head then. Closing her eyes she waited for the bullet that never came. Instead she heard another of the same sound from earlier and a thump that she felt in her hands and knees which were resting on the floor. Opening her eyes she saw Lewis on the floor and Shane standing over him with his boot on Lewis' gun and his phone to his ear. There was a buzzing in her ears and she couldn't hear what Shane was saying though she could see his lips moving.

She felt like she was out of her body watching what was going on in front of her. Shane finished his phone call and put his phone in his pocket then cleared the chamber of the gun he held and dropped the magazine before setting it on her coffee table pointing away from them. He bent down and put two fingers to Lewis' carotid then secured Lewis' gun as well. Then he turned around and kneeled down in front of her.

"Olivia, can you stand up?" He asked gently.

Liv barely nodded and felt him grasp her forearms to helps her stand up, she could feel her hands shaking and then she realized it was her entire body. She still felt like she wasn't in her own body, like she didn't have control over herself, but she knew Shane would make sure she was okay. It wasn't long before two uniformed officers came through the door along with Ed Tucker who took one look at the scene and gave Liv a hard look.

Shane had moved her to sit on the couch which is where she stayed while the people around her talked about what happened. She saw Shane point to a small black box above her door that looked like the one he put on her bedroom window and Tucker collected it with a glove from his pocket. Her focus had narrowed so that the only thing she was even cognizant of was Lewis' body on the floor in front of her. Tucker's voice registered in the far distance of her hearing but there was still a buzzing in her ears and she couldn't understand what he was saying.

Suddenly Shane was crouched in front of her with his hands on each of her shoulders saying something but she was still focused on the nightmare on the floor. In Liv's mind he was still alive and taunting her, putting her gun in her mouth, ripping open her shirt to brand the skin of her breasts. She closed her eyes against the visions she wasn't sure were real or hallucination anymore and she could just barely hear Shane's voice.

"Olivia, you're safe...He's gone...I've got you..."

Something was mentioned about taking her to Bellevue to be checked out and that registered in her mind that if anyone was going to touch her she needed her friend.

"Get Lexi for me," she managed to whisper and hoped she was coherent.

She felt Shane take her right hand and urge her to stand up after which she went where he guided her, he was talking quietly so she thought he had his phone to his ear again. Liv held onto his hand as tightly as she could while they walked to Tucker’s squad car and finally into the ER at Bellevue. The little dark haired nurse that Fin was always ogling met them at the ambulance entrance and she thought Shane growled at her to put them in an area where they would have some privacy. As long as she could feel Shane’s hand she felt his strength, his calm, and she was able to keep her demons at bay. Liv was finally able to focus her eyes but she still just stared blankly ahead at the floor, keenly aware of the fact that Tucker was in the room with them. If he hadn’t been there Liv would have let out the sob she felt sitting low in her chest. A pair of white shoes appeared on the floor in front of her and Shane’s growl chased them away.

It wasn’t much longer before she saw Lexi’s tennis shoes on the floor in front of her and felt Shane remove her hand from his to place it into his sister’s. Lexi held her hand while using her other hand to prod her for injuries before she went to type something on her phone. Liv was focused on watching the floor to keep her mind grounded and barely heard the door or the voices or the water running afterwards. The washcloth Lexi wiped over Liv’s face several times shocked her out of her self-induced fog and after Lexi helped change her t-shirt she raised her eyes up to look at her friend’s face.

“I froze,” Liv whispered, barely even sounding like herself.

Lexi paused for just a second, “Liv, do you need a rape kit?”

“No! But if Shane wasn’t there he…” She choked out she shook her head so hard she made herself dizzy.

“It’s okay Liv, he’s gone. He’ll never touch you again,” Lexi assured her and grabbed hand.

But Liv’s shaking had brought her fully into the present and the sob she’d been holding back finally broke free followed by another and they kept coming until Liv lost complete control of them. Lexi tried her best to sooth her by holding her, but it just wasn’t working. Liv didn’t feel safe anymore. Not in her head, and not in reality.

“Jesus, fuck me. Pixie let me have her,” she heard Shane’s voice and then his arms replaced Lexi’s and she was pulled into Shane’s burly chest.

At the feel of his arms around her and his heartbeat under her cheek she actually felt safe and she relaxed into him, though she continued to sob softly.

“Are you good with Tucker?” Liv heard Lexi asked Shane.

“Yeah, and if they come up with a problem I’m not at all worried. He said her statement can wait until she’s a little clearer headed,” he told her.

Lexi paused a second, “Okay, I’m going to update everybody on her. Liv do you want to see anyone right now?”

Liv shook her head. The last thing she wanted was to see anyone right then. It was hard enough just letting the two of them in while she was vulnerable, but she knew from past experience that she needed to let people in. Shane was a bit of a shock to her system though and she couldn’t understand it but she wasn’t going to question it right then.

“That’s fine,” she heard Lexi say. “They’ll understand. I’m going to write her discharge orders.”

That got Liv’s attention, she was being sent home to where William Lewis had been killed. It was hard enough to be in her old apartment where he’d tortured her for an entire night even for the short time she returned there. If she went back home she’d feel like his ghost would be haunting her everywhere she looked. Pushing slightly away from Shane’s chest she sat up and shook her head, “I can’t go back there.”

Lexi laid a hand on her shoulder, “It’s okay Liv, there are a lot of us with extra rooms who love you that you can stay with.”

“She can stay with me,” Shane stated in a firm tone making Liv look at him like he had two heads. He just shrugged and held her eyes, “It makes sense, I can work from home just as easily as from the office so someone is with you right now.”

As much as she wanted to accept his offer she couldn’t put him through that, she shook her head again, “I can’t burden you…”

Shane gripped her upper arms firmly in his hands and dropped his head down so they were eye to eye, “You are not a burden Princess. If I felt that way I wouldn’t have said it.”

Liv swallowed hard and started to tell him she was fine but knew that wouldn’t fly, it was hard but she swallowed her pride and just said, “Okay.”

He smiled then, startling her as to how much more handsome he was when he smiled, and pulled her back to his chest holding her tightly. It didn’t make sense to her, she felt safe in his arms, she’d never felt that way with Brian or David or any of the other boyfriends she’d had. She always felt like she had to be the strong one. Ironically, she’d felt like that with her partners too. Except maybe for Fin, but he’d always felt like a brother to her so that had been different. She felt Shane typing on his phone again.

“I asked Eddie to drive one of the cars over from the office. We’ll take that back to my house and Amanda will give him a ride back to the office,” he told her.

She just looked at him blankly for a minute until Lexie came back into the room with papers for her to sign and a small bottle of sleeping pills. Until she could see Dr. Lindstrom Lexi had said. Making an appointment with him was one of the first things she’d need to do the next day, but once she got to Shane’s house she was going to shower then take one of the sleeping pills and go to sleep. She was exhausted physically and mentally worn out. They walked through the ER to the ambulance entrance to where Eddie waited with the SUV. He quirked up an eyebrow as he looked at Liv’s t-shirt and handed the keys to Shane before opening the passenger door for Liv to get in. The look on Eddie’s face made Liv look down at the t-shirt Lexi had put on her and she realized it said ‘I’M JUST A LIL PRINCESS WITH ANGER ISSUES.’ Shaking her head as she got in the vehicle and Eddie closed the door she figured she’d just ask Shane to borrow one of his when they got to his house.

When they pulled up to his brownstone she sat silently staring out of the window at the rows of brick houses in front of her until Shane suddenly appeared in her vision and opened the door. She followed him inside and up the main stairwell to a very nice bedroom decorated in medium blues and greys. The wood of the furniture was a very nice dark oak and there was a replica of Van Gogh’s ‘Starry Night’ on the wall above the bed. Her eyes took in everything and settled back on Shane who stood in the doorway with his arms folded over his chest again.

“You can have this room, it’s the only one I’ve furnished so far on this floor. I’m in the master upstairs where my office also is. All of the windows are secure and set on the alarm system as are both doors. I’ll explain later how to set and disarm the system when you need to go in or out, or open a window,” he gave her a hard look. “The bathroom on this floor is the door across the hall, the linen closet is inside to the right of the door. I have an automatic water heater that I can set the hot water temperature on. I’ll be setting it to a hundred degrees.”

She narrowed her eyes at him but he held up a hand to stop her.

“Princess I get that you may feel dirty, but you’re not. I know the bathing is a coping mechanism, but I can’t let you burn yourself in the process. If the water is set to a safe temperature you can stay in there all day or night and not risk seriously scalding yourself,” he told her calmly.

“Do you by chance have a t-shirt I could borrow?” She asked pointing at the wording over her chest and waving her hand.

Shane smirked, “Sure Princess.” He turned around and she could hear him walking up the stairs to the master.

Liv sat down on the edge of the bed and gathered her racing thoughts. What was wrong with her? She had never in her life, not even with Elliot or Brian, let a man take care of her the way Shane had been doing that evening. Maybe it was because he was her best friend’s brother or maybe it was simply because he really wasn’t treating her like she was weak. For once in her life she felt like she was dealing with a man who was legitimately mentally and physically tougher than she was but saw her as an equal and that meant more to her than she thought it should. She kept going back to the other men in her life and finding them the weaker of the pairing in some fashion and something finally dawned on her. Olivia Benson, Badass Benson, didn’t want to have to always be the strong one.


	4. UPDATE

I know several people have asked if I am continuing this fic. There hadn't been a lot of interest in it and I lost motivation. But I will work on chapters to close out the storyline so it's not just hanging out there unfinished. It might take me some time to get through it but I will. If you're interested and still reading thank you! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Definitely let me know if you like these two together and want more of this story. As I’ve said before Lexi and Rafael’s story is the primary and will continue. I just wanted somewhere to explore Liv and Shane without muddying my original storyline. The timelines between the two will parallel.


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